Dummy, Pacifier, Soother - Yes or no?
For many new parents, a decision about whether to give or not their newborn baby a dummy is not an easy one. While some are planning to use them, others are dead set against. I understand it and in any way want to change your mind, but hear my story. This is about a little piece of rubber that saved my sanity...
When I was expecting my first baby, I wasn’t a fan of dummies. I did some research and from all information out there, 2 facts determined my decision. The first one was that it may delay my baby’s speech and the other - it may cause dental problems. For me, it was enough! I was expecting my baby to cry, so why would I need a dummy?
When my beautiful little girl finally arrived I was ecstatic! She was all I ever dreamed of and more! Beautiful, strong, healthy, and she hated a dummy! “Smart girl” I thought. She cried a little, but I could manage. At the beginning..... Week after week it was getting worst and to the point where I was losing my mind!
If you know me (personally or had your baby session with me) you know that I am patient. VERY PATIENT! Unfortunately, my little girl with great success was showing me how far was I from believing motherhood is a blessing. I honestly forgot about all that and had my own picture of what it was! She was crying constantly (at least that’s what I remember). At some point, I wanted to introduce her to dummy, but she wouldn’t take it. I gave up she spit it out of her mouth and the dummy hit the wall on the other side of the room! I was exhausted, and I was expecting my second baby!
By the time Bruno arrived, I was wiser. I thought I understand my baby girl better and was open to learning how my son wants to communicate with me. I now had two babies and knew I have to share my love and my time equally. The last thing I would want was my precious little girl to think that someone took her place. That’s when a dummy helped me to endure future months!
Do you know how I felt when my boy took a dummy? Relieved! I honestly think it helped me to survive the time when my two under 2 babies were not able to express whatever they wanted to tell me. I had more control over my two, then I had with my one. There was not much crying and we all mums know how stressful it may be. Babies need comforters as it makes them feel secure and safe. We need and use comforters in adult life. If your child cannot find their comforter this can cause anxiety. You have to ask yourself a question - what’s worst?
In my case after breastfeeding, I could leave my boy, sleeping in his cot and play with my girl. Everything becomes simpler, and motherhood turned to be what I was imaging it to be 2 years back!
Personally I think dummies are great! They are very useful to soothe a baby, helpful at spacing out feeds and to ensure feeds are not just snacks!
I often ask parents to bring a dummy for their newborn session. When a baby is upset or tired it’s very helpful to comfort a baby without a need to pass him or her to a mummy. Especially at the time when a baby is almost in a position ready to take a photo. Most babies are cooperating perfectly and 95% of the time, we don’t even take them out of the bag. But it’s good to have that option.
The Internet is full of information about the cons and prons of using a dummy. I’m not going to copy all that but want to give you only one advise:
DON’T DECIDE BEFORE YOU HAVE YOUR BABY. BE OPEN AND LISTEN TO YOUR BABY’S NEEDS.
It takes time and is a skill you have to learn. Take your time.